You know how you imagine yourself being an orating genius and slam dunk a difficult situation? How about feeling deep confidence in yourself and seeing all of your future accomplishments even though right now you’re a hot mess? Do you imagine hearing people acknowledging you for a job not only well done but for how your work in particular knocked it out of the ballpark?
Now, notice what you do with these visions. Let me guess… You lay awake all night being so excited that you can’t sleep!
No? You shoo the thoughts away?
Those imaginary situations are a glimpse into what you are truly capable of. If you couldn’t be it, you most certainly wouldn’t dream it. The disconnect starts with whisking those thoughts out of your mind.
What if you entertained yourself by following those threads of thought instead? Nobody has to know about it but you. Watch how your visions grow and develop. Notice the feelings they invoke within you. Watch how they seep out into your daily life.
Connect with your potential and let yourself evolve and grow!
I did it! By the time I was 35 I had a husband, a son, a house and a job. I worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my life! I deserved to take a break! I TOOK PRIDE IN MY PLATEAU!
A few years later, the summer festival orchestra I performed with went bankrupt. That’s okay. I’ll just go and audition for another summer festival orchestra.
That’s when I discovered that while I had been proudly plateau-ing, the other violinists were still improving and there was an entirely new level of performance excellence. I haven’t played in a summer festival orchestra since. I was the one who put a lid on my own potential.
Are you on a plateau? What do you say to yourself to justify it? How can you take the lid off of your own potential?
Diane Allen is a violinist and keynote speaker. With her violin in hand, Diane helps people to close their performance gaps, fulfill on their potential, and lead with heart. Diane also helps caregivers of Hospice & Alzheimer’s patients to feel empowered and supported in the face of death.
Now booking 2019 Email to inquire about fees and availability here. Keynotes & Video Clips here.
I’ve done the “vulnerable share” publicly at storytelling events. I relived, out loud, stories of personal life experiences when emotions were running raw. These storytelling events were for small audiences who specifically came for an emotional journey woven into the stories as their entertainment for the evening.
These small venues have helped me to cultivate my storytelling, emotionally process parts of my life, and help audience members to gain insights and greater understanding of their own life experiences.
Bottom line, stories heal.
I shared my stories with composure and dry eyes.
After my Mom’s passing, and feeling deeply grateful for the hospice care that she received, I wanted to give back to the hospice facility. I had the opportunity to share, storytelling style, at their monthly staff meeting. I was able to show my gratitude and it was a rare opportunity for the clinicians to hear how their care makes such a big impact.
Bottom line, stories heal.
I shared my stories with composure and dry eyes.
When the hospice facility asked me to be their Keynote Speaker for a Symposium, I could tell that this time, things would be different.
Would I be able to keep my composure and my dry eyes?
As I was writing the speech, Meghan McCain was delivering her tribute to her father John McCain at Washington National Cathedral. She teared up sporadically, occasionally sobbed, and her voice vacillated between quivering and strong.
Clamming up is freezing up.
Clamping down is when you force yourself to control your tears.
Flowing is riding the roller coaster of your emotions as you continue to speak. Flowing is an expression of the power of your vulnerability.
As Meghan McCain flowed through her tribute, I never questioned her confidence. I never questioned her credibility. Her character not only remained intact, but I felt even more connected with her and with her message.
So I gave myself permission to cry.
As I rehearsed the speech, I shed tears. It was unpredictable. I never knew when or where it would happen. I honored the process and I honored the tears.
As I delivered the speech to a packed room, far larger than any storytelling event, I knew that at any given moment, the tears would well up. And they did. Following Meghan McCain’s example, I flowed with the moment with tears in my eyes.
Afterwards, a number of audience members shared their stories with me. Many were sharing them for the first time. Because I had shared my stories, they felt like they weren’t alone on their journey anymore. Their experiences had become validated.
Bottom line, stories heal.
I shared my stories with wet eyes and that doesn’t mean that I lost my composure.
Your ability to be convincing is one of the most important success tools. How convincing are you? Do people hear you? Do they adopt your ideas? Have you given up?
After you go through this self-evaluation, you’ll know what adjustments you need to increase your influence and be convincing.
You’re sitting at the control panel looking at 4 knobs labeled:
Your job is it to figure out which zone you are in now. Then, adjust all 4 knobs into the green zone.
Red Zone You are paralyzed by fear.
Yellow Zone You are confident in some areas and fake it in others.
Green Zone You exude confidence naturally anytime, anywhere.
Red Zone You never speak about your qualifications.
Yellow Zone You speak about your qualifications only when asked.
Green Zone You always speak about your qualifications that directly relate to your idea.
Red Zone You assume everyone is on the same page.
Yellow Zone You include some information to back your ideas up.
Green Zone You outline the problem, the solution, the steps to take, and you back it up with proof.
Red Zone You only focus on the task at hand.
Yellow Zone You use chit chat or small talk but then focus on the task at hand.
Green Zone You put yourself in the other person’s shoes and appeal to their emotions.
Getting to Green
Because energy speaks louder than words, before speaking, you need to be in your most convincing energy. How do you muster that up? While a blog post can’t solve all of the world’s confidence issues, here’s one powerful tip: Get out of your own way. Most inhibitions come from being overly focusing on yourself. What bigger purpose do you serve? Do you love being the grounding force amidst chaos? Are you the silent leader who knows your work creates a solid foundation? Are you a genius in trouble shooting issues in a way that keeps the peace? Focus on the greater purpose that you serve. Those are the feelings to muster up your natural confidence.
In order for people to trust you and therefore be convinced by you, they need to know: Who are you? If you were going to invest $500,000 and you didn’t know the financial advisor’s background and track record, would you invest? To be convincing, include the part of your background that mostly correlates with the topic at hand.
Consider case building as the educational component of convincing others. Show your understanding of the big picture and the mini steps to solve the problem. Back up your case with proof that validates your ideas. This is how to build more trust.
The goal of connection is that people need to feel like it matters to them. If you lived in Alaska, why should you care about the python problem in Florida? It’s up to you to consider who you are trying to convince, get into their shoes and figure out why they should care.
In order to be convincing, people need to feel like they have received from you all of the information they need in order for them to make a sound decision. When you show up in confidence and provide credibility, case building and connection, you’ll deliver exactly what they need!
#howto #ownyouragame #influence #leadership
As a violinist, Diane was an early adopter with YouTube. As soon as she saw herself on video, she could hear just how UN-convincing she was. She sought out training in public speaking to learn how to be convincing. Although she had a rewarding career as a concert violinist, she fell in love with public speaking and ultimately found her true voice and true purpose as a professional speaker helping people to own their A-Game and be convincing.
You know, more than anybody else, what you are truly capable of. Yes it’s a journey to close your performance gaps but it’s one that I’m asking you to take a stand for. That’s self-leadership.
Between my violin career and my speaking career, I’ve made hundreds of videos. There’s nothing more confronting than seeing yourself on video!
I’ve put a lot of videos out there of me in my B & C-Game knowing that sometimes imperfect action is better than no action. I put those videos out there knowing that I’ve said “yes” to the A-Game journey.
Last week, I put together an A-Game video (it’s my demo). I felt very emotional as I was making it. I knew in my bones it was going to be an important video. I felt vulnerable about exposing my inner secret publicly on video: what I know I’m truly capable of.
The growing pains were worth it.
So if you do find yourself in your C, D, or F-Game, take a look at how you are leading yourself.
Are you leading yourself or avoiding the journey?
Are you taking imperfect action as part of the journey?
Are others starting to see what you’ve know all along: what you are truly capable of?
Pipe dreams are a window into what you are truly capable of. They are a vision, a feeling, and an inner dialog of potential waiting to happen. Without us honoring them and taking action, that potential lies dormant. A character in a fiction book I read found it cruel to not water the houseplants. That idea has certainly made me conscientious! You? Are you going to honor your pipe dreams by watering them or poo poo them?
I was doing a journal writing exercise earlier today and the prompt was to write about enthusiasm. With regards to enthusiasm, I discovered that it’s very easy and natural for me to feel incredibly enthusiastic about other people’s pipe dreams. It’s so easy to see the potential of their pipe dreams because you’re not in their head experiencing all of their limiting beliefs!
I asked myself if I could feel unbridled enthusiasm for my own pipe dreams in an authentic way without forcing. That’s my current #challengeaccepted. Will you join me?